Hot Embers
Proverbs 26:21 (NLT) “A quarrelsome person starts fights as easily as hot embers light charcoal or fire lights wood.
Remember the previous scripture in Proverbs 22:24, 25, about befriending an angry person, or associating in large angry crowds? Have you ever wondered how quarrels get started? It starts when a person is self-centered, thinking their rights were violated or that something they expected wasn’t fulfilled. When you constantly think about yourself, you focus on what you don’t have, what you deserve, and what others have done to you that wasn’t fair. Your brain simmers and stews over things, and anything you feel isn’t right sets you off. In today’s language, it’s being triggered.
A triggered person gets to the point where the Holy Spirit can’t even guide or direct them towards repentance. Meaning, you are so full of being right and being angry that there is no room to hear the truth or see a different perspective. Your heart has become hard as stone, and your brain is like hot embers, ready to keep the fire going. Did you know the modern term for all the above is bitterness? Bitterness is when a person feels chronic anger and uses unfair treatment as fuel to perpetuate their anger.
To stop a quarrel, stop talking about the infraction and start talking about healing. Forgive the other person regardless of whether they deserve it or not. Go beyond saying I’m sorry. Acknowledge the areas where you were wrong and apologize for your part. Don’t wait for the other person to apologize. You will never feel like it is a good time to apologize. Which is why it is always the right time to apologize. Most feel they aren’t sincere if they don’t feel like apologizing. There is a difference between saying I’m sorry and apologizing. Saying I’m sorry is not apologizing. It is only acknowledging that you emotionally feel the same as the other person. But it doesn’t acknowledge wrongdoing.
If you constantly like to start fights, ask yourself why. Do you like being right? Do you like winning arguments to prove you are right? Or is something in your mind that has been stewing for a long time, and you feel justice hasn’t been delivered to you? Here are three words that will set you free: Let It Go! Anger is like cancer. It spreads rapidly and stays alive when you hold unforgiveness in your heart and keep a long list of what others did to you. Let it go!
Be Blessed!
Ron
Ron Cobbs Ministries © Copyright September 26th, 2026, All Rights Reserved